Filed under: Guest Posts, pet loss | Tags: animal rescue, good samaritan, homeless animals, pet loss, shadytales, TGTB, this good that bad, Tuesday Larken
Guest post by Tuesday Larken, originally posted 8/9/2011 at
“One woman’s journal. Every woman’s journey.”
Good Samaritan
Why am I still holding her? This is not the dog I want. I want my Duke back. It has been only about a month since my golden retriever passed away and nothing I’ve tried can fill his absence. So why am I holding a shy little black Labrador/terrier mix with two broken legs?
I’ll tell you why…it’s because there is far too much absence to fill. No dog can replace Duke but a new one in my arms, just for a moment, begins to even out the sudden imbalance I am feeling. My job as I knew it is gone. My kids are grown. My husband has a new job that has him out of the house over 12 hours a day. Me and Bella (my Border collie mix) are feeling more than a little left behind.
I have never actually been in an animal shelter. Duke came from a rescue group and they brought him to me. Bella was a stray we took in. When Melissa (you might know her as MelissaBelle) asked me to run this errand for her and drop off some donations, I made it a point to peek in some of the cages. I thought I might meet a dog to take care of me like Duke did. Instead, I met this little midget dog who may need more care than I have left in me to give.
Melissa’s blog posts on pet loss (among other things) have helped me deal with the loss of Duke. I met her on the Fabulously40.com site and we soon realized we lived just a few miles apart. Despite her counsel and that of many other women in the site, I am not over it yet. Just like this little Labrador mix isn’t recovered from her injuries yet. She isn’t up for adoption. There is no hard sell for me to take her home. I was simply asked to go see her because she is shy and they are trying to help her get used to strangers. She has months to go before she’d be ready to go to a new home.
The skittish little dog (I didn’t ask her name -I suspect they are still choosing one for her) was found on the side of the road with 2 broken legs. A Good Samaritan paid for her surgery. They have no idea if she’ll walk again. She probably won’t trust again too readily either. Bella would absolutely hate her, what with her whining and shaking and clinginess and all. Or maybe she wouldn’t; having been on the street herself maybe Bella would be able to ease her fears and let her know there is such a thing as a happy ending. Crap. I cannot believe I fell for this. Is this why Melissa sent me here?
Okay, enough. No no no. I cannot take in another dog now. I cannot take in a second dog in a few months either. That’s just ridiculous. This dog can’t bring Duke back. Or my kids. Or my job. Or my marriage as it once was. So then, as little no-name curls deeper into the hook of my arm, why am I still holding her?
The little black dog in this post is fiction, but she was inspired by Abby who is very real and needs a home. Abby is healed, walking and ready to start a new life with the right family. Click on this image to learn more about her and how you can help. via petswithdisabilities.com
As Shady and I mentioned last week, Tuesday is helping us pick up the slack around here and get our TGTB efforts back on track. Her blog is not just about pets, but family and life after 40. Learn more about her here: it all started when her dog died…
Filed under: pet loss, Senior pets | Tags: aging pets, companion animals, dogs, Duke, euthanasia, labrador, pet grief, pet loss, pets, Senior pets, shady, shadytales
Thank you all so much for your kind comments (here and on our friend’s blog) and emails on our recent posts about aging pets and pet loss. We are sharing the condolences and advice directly with our friends who need it.
Here are a few of the most poignant remarks for you to share, in case you or anyone you know is dealing with this issue. As the first comment (from a very wise dog) suggests, knowing we are not alone can ease the pain:
Light a candle for the beloved pets that had to leave us behind at www.petloss.com
“I have noticed that when sad humans help others (with pet loss), the sadness alleviates some.”
“… I completely believe they tell us when it’s time, all we have to do is pay attention. I love how you have been saying about making the decision to take away our pets pain and take it into our hearts and let them go. It’s a beautiful metaphor.”
“Our pets, with their short lives, are our Beloved Heartbreakers.”
“May you feel some consolation that you labored with love for him and he knows it.”
“…I dread the day I have to make a decision. I know they will help me.”
“As you described above, the good-bye time, if you are lucky enough to have it, is a treasured memory. Thank you for offering support to others and tackling this difficult subject. Typing through early morning tears…and grateful for all the memories.”
“Duke will never leave you as he will always be in your heart.”
“We snuggled on the bed with him one last time… told him heaven doesn’t have pain… we told him how he would again have his strong muscles that he lost months ago.”
“and now they are free from pain and we will see them again one day!!”
“I’ve lost my share of animals and know it feels like we lose a piece of (ourselves). “
The final remark from Linda, who lost her Duke less than a week ago and inspired these recent posts, sums it all up pretty well:
“as hard as it’s been I wouldn’t change anything for the world… I will love him forever.”
Filed under: pet loss, Senior pets | Tags: aging pets, dogs, euthanasia, labrador, old cats, old dogs, pet grief, pet loss, shady, shadytales
Mom and I have been sorting through a stockpile of new pet stories to tell. We are setting those aside yet again to address a theme we have heard a lot more about this week than we’d like. Most pet owners face this particular challenge at some point and it is one they claim to understand going in. Then when it happens to them, they realize they had no idea what they where in for.
Initially I felt this was more of a people-thing than an animal thing, so I asked Mom to take this post on. Two of her friends are dealing with this question this week. They are both handling things differently and each with equal amounts of compassion and grace. The specifics of that are not important though, not today anyway. I’ll let Mom finish up from here.
Thank you, Shady. The dilemma Shady refers to is, “How do you know when it is time to let your pet go?” After a lifetime of loving and caring for your best furry friend, families have always heard that they will know when, but HOW will they know? In an instant it seems, usually after a vet visit with a grim prognosis or just the inevitability of aging, subtleties and guidelines become important.
Though I started down a path with a list of unconventional insights I gained very recently, I am saving that stuff for another day. Anyone asking us this question needs some good information in a hurry. No time for lists. We are no experts, but we can tell you with certainty that if you have this question to begin with, it probably is NOT time yet so read on…
Q. How do you know when it is time to let your best friend go? What are the signs?
A. You will never fully let them go, so stop trying. Your pet is part of your family forever. Don’t be afraid to take a little time to prepare for the burden of taking on their pain. Freeing their bodies to rest in peace and agreeing to carry this pain for them as you miss them will last forever. The short time in between is a gift and your dog or cat may need this time as much as you do.
A dog that trusts you enough to let you see his changing needs is a gift.
Reward your pet’s trust, love and faith in you by demonstrating what every pack animal needs to see from their leader when they are stressed; strength and protection. The decision of “when” is not always black and white so don’t be afraid to see the shades of gray as you search for the “signs.” Consider that animals may not pine for lost youth the way people do. If they are pain-free they may take great joy in aging quietly with you and in the security of their own home for longer than you realize.
Or not. There is a risk of waiting too long but it can be managed. Unless you are far removed from vet care, you will be able to do what is necessary in a timely manner if things change suddenly. You know this about yourself; do not doubt your instincts.
To be further assured of this simply tune in to your pet by spoiling them (more than usual) any way you can manage. This level of attention and support may not be possible long-term but short-term it will tell your pet clearly; it’s okay to show me what you are feeling.
Why do you need to convey this to you pet? Because they are waiting for a sign too. Shady and I figured out that she is wrong; this dilemma is not a “people only” thing. Pets want to know when their best friend is ready to let them go. They don’t want to let you down and they will fight hard not to abandon you before they know you are going to be okay.
Accepting a pet in their new state of frailty (and I am not talking about any extenuating methods of care that are outside of your reach, here) will reassure them. As you brace yourself for the inevitable you will be comforted with memories of a proper goodbye.
Don’t underestimate your need for that memory. Lack of it can overshadow all later when you are grieving and make the loss much more intense. Find a boundary you and your pet can share so you both endure the least amount of suffering possible as you wait for the right time.
Adoption Good,. Homeless Bad. Dog Eared Tales author Shady is the newest and rarest designer breed of all dogs…a “blogdog”. Well, okay, she is actually an 9-year-old Labrador and co-founder of http://www.thisgoodthatbad
Filed under: pet loss | Tags: animal rescue, dogs, LoJack, Nikki, pet grief, pet loss, shady, shadytales, TGTB, TGTB Writing Challenge, this good that bad, writing contest
As we bring the year 2010 to a close, I am facing my first Christmas season alone. My people family is right here with me, but this is the first Christmas I have not had my dog sister Nikki with me. Both her and my brother LoJack are gone now. It reminded me of something my Mom posted on another blog in January of 2010. She was sad when she wrote it. She is sad today. That’s why she isn’t posting much for me these days. Still, she made me promise that I would stop in wish you all a happy holiday and thank you for your support. We both hope to see more of you in 2011, but in the meantime we’d like to share this with you.
2010 Minus 2
(originally posted January 6, 2010, at http://fabulously40.com/blog/id/2010-minus-2-13877)
We had all three in 2009,
And in 2010 there remains only one,
Our beloved dogs have lost their battle with time,
The mourning has just begun.
The sadness brings us so many tears,
As we miss the sweet faces,
Wet dog noses and soft puppy ears,
That filled our home’s now empty places.
Now I look at my last little girl,
And wonder, does she need a dog friend?
Then think oh no, how in the world
Could I ever go through this again?
The time is not right,
You all know I am still in pain,
But I figure the day will come,
When I will indeed do it again.
So many animals lost out there
Who need love and a new home,
For them it is all just so unfair,
As more often than not they die alone.
Locked in a shelter awaiting their fate,
With so much love still in their heart,
And hoping we come before it’s too late
Waiting for a new life, a new start.
I won’t do it just to come to their aid,
I’ll do it much more for me,
Once the sadness starts to fade,
Overcome by memories of love and loyalty.
No kind of pet will ever replace,
LoJack and Nikki who left me this year,
But someday I’ll be ready to find the next needy face,
And another dog to live and love here.
LoJack and Nikki, gone from our home but never from our hearts.
Note from Shady: There is still time to enter our TGTB contest and win a cash donation for animal rescue or one of the other great prizes. Deadline is 12/31. Get details on the “Good Life” contest and entry forms on This Good That Bad site: www.thisgoodthatbad.com
Filed under: animal rescue, dogs, Guest Posts, pet loss | Tags: dog food, dog recipes, dogs, labrador, LoJack, pet adoption, pet grief, pet loss, recipes, shadytales, steak, TGTB, this good that bad
The following is a reprint of Shady’s guest post on a friend’s cooking blog. She addresses two topics very near and dear to a dogs’ heart–food and love. Update 5/2011: Our sympathy to Linda, the cooking blog author and Mom to Duke, her beloved labrador and star “taste tester” who recently succumbed to the same cancer that took our LoJack. Please feel free to leave your remarks and support for Linda here and we will pass them on to her. Rest in Peace Duke. Please tell LoJack we miss him when you see him.
For those of you who do not know me from my own blog. Dog Eared Tales please allow me to introduce myself; I am a Shady, an 8-year-old blog dog. More specifically I am a black lab who recently lost two pack members to old age. My people-Mom and I have been blogging ever since. It started out as a way to cope with the loss of our family members but we have met so many wonderful people along the way that even though we are doing better we decided to keep it up.
Linda is one of those people and one of my favorite things about her is that she loves food just like me. Another thing I really like about her is that she lists her own dogs Bubba and Duke as part of her “support staff”. I am guessing this means they get to do a lot of taste testing and I think a lot of people could learn from that example.
When Linda invited me to guest post here I was flattered. Although my blog is about pet loss and animal rescue, food is one of my favorite topics! Mom used to be pretty stingy with the people food. She used to claim it is wasted on me, that I would eat a lint ball with the same zeal I would attack a steak. I’ll concede it may look that way from the outside, but I assure you my palate is refined as any human. Mom knows that now too, but it was not an easy lesson and that is part of what I want to tell you about.
You see, last year my golden retriever brother LoJack developed tumors in his mouth. They were small and undetectable at first but he stopped eating because he could not work his tongue correctly. The whole pack knew with all our doggy senses what was happening but we had no way to tell anyone (this was before I had a laptop). Mom could see he was trying to eat and was still hungry, so she started helping him. She began to make burgers and cakes and out of his prescription dog food to make it easier for him. She cut them into chunks and literally tossed them in his mouth to the back, where he was still tumor free and could swallow on his own. This worked for a while, but his condition worsened and he started to lose interest in eating.
Mom was really stressed out about it because LoJack had a liver problem and he needed this special dog food. It had changed his life and saved him from grave illness four years earlier. He also needed about 6 pills a day for his liver and he would not put anything in his mouth. Mom tried everything she could think of to get a proper balanced meal into him but it took hours at a time and still he lost weight.
Then one day the vet laid it out for my Mom in simple terms. She sort of knew but needed it hear it out loud. He told us LoJack’s liver dysfunction was nothing compared to what he was battling now. Since he remained a happy boy in every way except at mealtimes and at this point his pain was minimal all Mom had to do was keep him from starving. The vet made it clear to us; it did not matter what he ate anymore—just that he ate something and maybe had a painkiller now and then. “Let him eat steak.” he said and this became our new strategy.
A diet of the finest people food was prepared and hand fed to him daily. I am not sure how much he could taste anymore but the idea was the smell is what held his interest. My older dog sister Nikki and I were given tastes here and there but for the most part we kept our distance and let Mom and LoJack dine alone. Steak, seasoned and grilled, and spicy venison sausage were his favorites.
The pills he needed now were hidden inside grape tomatoes and bits of garlic bread. He even got vanilla ice cream and yogurt pops on the hottest summer nights. For a while, he seemed to enjoy eating again-or maybe it was just all the one on one Mommy time? Whatever it was, he regained his spark during this time and the whole family was glad to have him back to his old ways for at least a short time. All the food smelled delicious but Nikki and I knew the trade off and so we happily kept to our regular diets. Let him eat steak…
You probably know how the story ends; LoJack was gone before summer was over. The food was not enough to battle the illness and it made his eventual turn for the worse feel very sudden to us. Soon Mom had hours of time on her hands that she did not know what to do with. She could not remember what she used to do in the mornings before she started spending 45 minutes feeding LoJack, or at night before she spent hours precooking his meals.
That is kind of how the blog was born, and how Mom started to meet people like Linda. Everyone who came upon Mom’s blog posts about rescuing, loving and losing your dog took the time to leave comments and they were very kind to us. We could not have gotten through it without them.
Though it took her some time to get back to it after that, Mom does really enjoy cooking. I am an only dog now, and I am afforded a lot more slack than I ever was before when it comes to food. I usually get a few bites of any meal that is leftover (if there is nothing in it that is dangerous for me) and so I have a vested interest in getting Mom to try new stuff. This week she is going to try Linda’s recipe for “Potato and Egg Bake” and she promises to share. It isn’t exactly “eat steak” treatment, but I also get some homemade treats just for dogs made for just for me.
I would like to share the recipe for one of my favorites with you here—maybe you can whip up a batch for your own pets, or a friend’s, or maybe even drop by your local shelter with some treats and share the love. Spend some time walking the dogs there and getting to know them. I bet you’ll like it so much that you’ll be back again and again and I promise you will be welcomed with open paws even if you arrive empty handed.
Dogs appreciate food without question, but we appreciate the love that is behind it much more and it does not matter one bit how you choose to show it.
CTOTD blog author Linda is just one of the many friends my Mom met online a little over a year ago as she mourned for our LoJack and started her This Good. That Bad. fundraising company for animal causes. Linda is a dog lover herself and her own dog Duke was recently found to have tumors in his mouth too. She has kindly dedicated a post to the pooches in honor of October’s “Adopt A Shelter Dog” month. You can find all kinds of recipes and cooking reference materials at her site every day.
Kibble again? Let him eat steak!
Like this:
Filed under: dogs, pet loss, Senior pets | Tags: animal rescue, homeless animals, LoJack, Nikki, Sam, shady, shadytales, Sophie, this good that bad
There is a reason Mom and I only post on the blog about once a week. It is not for a lack of stories to tell, that’s for sure. It’s just that Mom gets busy with her day job and taking care of me and the house…but that does not take as much time as you’d think. Lately what takes most of her time is This Good That Bad. To be honest, sales have been pretty slow over the summer. What keeps her busy is some of the other things TGTB tries to do for rescue. When she is not running contests, tweeting about homeless pets or trying to keep the Facebook crowd engaged and informed, she is answering emails. Those emails are what I want to tell you about today.
We have shared stories from our inbox here before. This week there was also a disturbing pattern of inquiries and they brought me to a shocking realization. After observing Mom’s reactions I realized that she misses me. I haven’t gone anywhere at all, but that is just the problem. As you may recall, I have been afraid to even go to the front door since the fire truck incidents a few weeks ago. I have also been hanging around mostly downstairs and away from her because everybody knows downstairs and under the desk is just safer. It’s all about self-preservation, really, but I had no idea the effect it would have on her until I considered some of the mail we got.
Sometimes it takes a while, but Mom replies to everyone. Lots of people ask for help promoting adoption events or raising money. Some want to talk about their rescues or the loss of their beloved animals or ask about some of the pets we have written about before. Mom knows it is a real compliment and a privilege for us to meet these people and be trusted with such personal matters. Sometimes there is no real “story” in it that we can share per se, just thought-provoking questions or statements. Well, my thoughts were greatly provoked when one of the questions went like this:
Question: “What advice do you have for others about looking after a very elderly dog?”
Mom’s reply: “Be patient and kind. We will all age someday and deserve to do so with dignity. You’ll be rewarded with a much richer relationship with your pet. I know firsthand. I have seen 2 seniors to the bridge in 12 months. Sad, but there is comfort in knowing I did right by them… through vet visits, meds, ramps and anything else they needed. They had so much more life and love to give than one might have seen at first glance. I developed a closeness with each of them as we went through these things together that is hard to describe and it helped me build confidence and be the person they needed me to become to care for them. I am a better person now just for having known them.”
My reply: “Ummm okay sure, that’s very nice. But I am still your puppy right Mom? No, age 9 must not be a “senior” or elderly because I feel fine and I’m not sick at all but you still love me, right? This little fear thing I am going through—totally different I’m sure. Hey, can she even hear me under here? Pssst Mom! I am right here, under the desk…hellloooooo…”
Then there are all the photos we get. This week some people who read Sam’s Story followed up and sent us photos of their pets, like Sophie and Morganne’s Pup (whose name we missed because she sent us many photos of many dogs for us to share later—sorry about that Morganne). Mom was sure to reply and thank all who sent them.
Sophie, whose Mom saw herself in some of Sam's Story.
Hmmm…right about now is when I realized I have not been very good company to Mom lately. Uh- oh. I knew I needed to do better. I had to snap out of this funk I was in. Now here was the clincher…Mom also got an email request from a friend to do the unthinkable. I never thought I would come to this. Someone asked her to…to…PUPPY SIT. That’s right, you heard me. Mom’s reply was a resounding YES. We are going to have a BLACK LAB puppy staying with us next month. I hear he is very little and sweet. Seriously, what are these people trying to do anyway?
Morganne replied to Sam's Story with several photos, including one of her own pup.
So after that last one, I said “enough.” I started by returning to my usual spot in the kitchen while she had her coffee. Then I followed her outside when she had lunch on the deck. Believe you-me, I hate “outside” but darn it she needs me! She needs her dog back. I will not be replaced with a photo or a memory of Nikki or LoJack or a PUPPY. It was all going fine out there too until they showed up again. The fire trucks!!! There was a big barbecue down the street and they had a problem with a leaking propane tank. Soon there were lights and sirens and all the men in those crazy suits.
You know what I did then? Nothing. I just stayed right out there with her until she came back inside and I continued to stay close all day. If strangers in our inbox can trust her with important stuff, I can too. When it got cooler in the evening she took my harness out and put it near me as she has done a few times since the firemen first appeared. This time I did not run away or bark or hide. Slowly, I let her put it on me. Then I let her open the door. Then we took a walk. In the time it took me to fill three separate poop bags (Okay, so I am a nervous pooper, what of it?!) it was all over and I discovered there is nothing to be afraid of out there as long as Mom is with me. The person you trust with your tales and the person who guided Nikki and LoJack right to the end is more than capable of keeping me safe too.
Note from Shady’s Mom: From the inbox to under the desk–Shady heard you all loud and clear. Thank you for everything…the comments, the well wishes, the stories and the photos. Most of all, I want to thank you for giving me my dog back! Rest assured, she is loved and cherished now as she always was, she just lost sight of it briefly.
Filed under: animal rescue, events, pet loss, Senior pets | Tags: animal rescue, dogs, golden retriever, homeless animals, pet adoption, Sam, senior dogs, seniors, shady, shadytales, TGTB, this good that bad
Hmmm, fiction is more difficult than I thought. How can I get out of this Sam-and-Anne thing?
Thanks to everyone who helped us fill in the blanks on Sam’s story. If you don’t recall exactly where we left off with the senior golden retriever, you can click here to catch up. Sam’s story did spark some comments and it also filled our inbox. At first Mom and I were not sure what to do. Did I mention fiction is not our forte? In a lot of ways we were not too far off the mark with Anne and Sam, as some of you knew all to well what it is like to lose a loved one and have their pet left behind. Others told us about what it is like to age with your pet, or adopt one as a senior. A few simply took the opportunity to write about their love for their pets. We were supposed to write a story inspired by “you”, the readers and the inspiration was received loud and clear. After careful review we’ve decided to just go ahead and let you all write it as well. Here are some of the more memorable things we’ve read this week:
“We have all had some adjustments to make, but Sophie (late husband Bill’s dog) & I are now good friends & she helps me get through the days & take care of the rest of the household. “ K.P
“I didn’t give in to pressure from my family to sell the house. None of these communities allowed large dogs and I was not going to give up Candy (dog). She was more than my last link to Dave (late husband), she became my best friend. I will never regret standing by her until it was her turn to go join him.” L.D.
“Since Oreo passed away, I haven’t been able to have another dog. I know I have to move into a smaller place and it might be a problem. Shady would be proud of me …I get my dog fix from volunteering. Working events and an occasional foster is more rewarding than I would have thought.” R.C.
“I am going to be going to college this fall, and I have no clue how I am going to cope without my dog. But I know that she will be waiting for me when I come home, just as she always has.” M.P.
“Getting my mother a cat has been really good for her. We always had a cat or two growing up; I am not really sure why she didn’t get another after Tammy (late cat) passed away. Since my Dad died it’s clear she loves having someone to take care of again. She likes that Buster is a senior too, it is a nice thing to have in common with someone, I guess.” M. W.
“Because we are close to some adult communities around here, we have a lot of older single people (and their pets) coming into our (veterinary) practice. I have no doubt that having a pet has, for some of them, increased the quality of their life and maybe even extended it” S.D.
So, maybe Sam wasn’t Anne and Joe’s dog after all. Maybe he was a foster. Or her granddaughter’s dog, which she is walking during the day while the rest of the family is at work or school and the granddaughter is away at college. Or maybe Anne walks Sam for her neighbors that don’t get around well anymore in her “55 and over” housing complex. The possibilities are endless. No matter which one you choose as their ending, Sam and Anne will by fine in their literary limbo. They will both remain loved and keep taking care of each other there.
What Mom and I were reminded of though this exercise is simple; love and relationships are not formulas that we can outline neatly. What pets give on the surface may be a somewhat standard; things like a reason to get up in the morning, unconditional love, companionship, someone to take care of and so on. It is what people take from that and how it works into their own lives–the details we sought about Anne and Sam—that are too unique and personal to wrap up with just a few sentences. The end result seems universal though. Having pets or any kind of relationship with animals is good for the human soul and the spirit. No one who wants that in their life should be denied.
Note from Shady’s Mom: Yes, that is really Shady in the photo above. Don’t worry, despite all the gray our 9-year-old girl does not show any signs of slowing down. She has not had an all black coat like you see in the header photo for a few years. A nasty computer virus a few months caused us to lose most of our photos from the past 3 years so we’ll be backing these up ASAP. We finally got around to taking a new photo with a proper camera (as opposed to the phone) yesterday. It only took 700 hundred tries to get one where she held still.
We hope you’ll come back and visit our blog often, and comment freely (we love reading what you have to say). You can also keep up with us at our website www.thisgoodthatbad.com where we help homeless animals by giving them the shirt off our backs. Look for us on Facebook and Twitter too.
Filed under: animal rescue, pet loss | Tags: animal rescue, dogs, fearful dogs, golden retriever, labrador, LoJack, Nikki, pet adoption, pet grief, pet loss, shady, shadytales, TGTB, this good that bad, thunder
This week I feel a little bit like the one who needs rescuing. I mean no disrespect to all the doggies in the shelter who are still waiting for their forever homes…I know I have things way better than they do and I am crossing my paws that things will work out for them. It is just that we had some drama here at my house that I am not used to. It all started Tuesday night with a thunderstorm. Up until Tuesday, I tolerated thunder and lightning pretty well. I know the difference between a storm and fireworks, which I do NOT tolerate well.
What I did not know was that a storm can cause a fire. Lightning is usually the nice quiet part of a storm but this time it hit an electrical line and sent it to the ground in flames right in front of my house. It popped and glowed like any firework would but bigger and hotter and with real flames. It burned for over an hour and melted my neighbor’s car. I tried to tell Mom that the basement was the safest place to go and even tried to tunnel there myself, but she kept saying, “no, the fire is too close” and that we had to go OUTSIDE.
That’s just crazy talk. She got me out there but it was not easy for her. We had to stay out there till the men in the masks and funny suits said it was OK to go back in. Mom says they were trying to help but they are called FIREmen after all and everything was fine here till they showed up so I am not so sure about them.
As if to prove my point, they showed up on our front lawn again just two days later and said we had to leave again! Something about a gas leak. I did not see flames or hear noises but one look at those men in those suits and I was headed to the basement…only to be dragged up and out by Mom again. This time they let us back in again very quickly but they still hung around a while. Anything that makes Mom scared enough to have us leave our house (and with her in her PJs one time) cannot be good and it is all taking place out front so guess what—I am not going to use the front door anymore. Mom figured that out Friday when she tried to take me for a walk. Uh-uh, no way, I am not going out there. OK, well she carried me out but that does not count. I am still totally boycotting anything that has to do with the front yard.
Seriously, why would I ever go out front again if THIS might be out there? And yes, that is our "real" front yard.
It is times like these when we really miss LoJack and Nikki. This week it will be one year since we lost golden retriever LoJack, and he was the most laid back presence in this house. If he were here, he would have convinced me just to go take a nap, or that “evacuation” was actually just a walk. If my black lab sister Nikki were here, she would have been out in front or at the window, watching the action intensely and ready to defend us and our home as soon as things got too risky. She was very brave and alert and ready to respond. Mom says I sorta lost my “guideposts” when they left us and it is changing the kind of dog I am. She says it is why I am up at all hours of the night and no one gets much sleep around here anymore, too.
This proves out a theory that Mom often shares with people who are struggling with a neurotic, hyper, “separation anxiety” afflicted or otherwise challenging dog…or who are simply weighing out the option of adding a new dog to the family. Her theory is that the best thing for any dog is in fact another dog. She says everyone should have at least one other being of their own species in the house if it all possible. As a playmate, a protector or just a plain old snuggling partner. Who wouldn’t benefit from a friend that keeps the same hours and shares a lot of the same habits with you? When LoJack was at his worst with cancer, I felt secure enough to step in as a protector for him. I was brave and loyal for him when he needed me because I had a whole pack that would do the same for me.
Maybe I am a little off my game now, after 7 months of being an only dog. I may not be cut out for this gig. Mom’s not ready to deal with it, I get it. She still wants HER dogs back and that is not going to happen. She has to get past that to see another dog as her own again. I am more matter of fact about it, it’s true. I knew how ill Nikki and LoJack were way before Mom did. We are out of sync on the whole “new dog in the house” thing. In the meantime, she takes comfort in having me around to spoil and as an “original” pack member and puts up with my unpredictability. I can tough it out a little longer for her. For the rest of you though, we hope you never stop at one dog. If you want a young puppy, consider bringing home one of his siblings as a playmate. If you have an older or special needs dog, another quiet dog friend can be wonderful company or maybe a younger one can help keep him young. There are all kinds of combinations out there that are pure magic.
I didn’t want to leave the house when that fire happened. I gave Mom a really hard time because I did not have anyone around speaking my own language to tell me it was safe. I trust Mom, but I was blinded by the lights and the noises and could not hear her or read her signs. Don’t underestimate the power of a multiple dog household. The cost is double, the noise and the hair is double, the space we take up is double but the multiple combinations of laughter, love and comfort we can give each other and our family is infinite.
Shady’s Mom, Melissa, is the director of marketing for a firm in NJ by day, and a blogger an entrepreneur by night. She still has good days and bad days since losing two of her dogs last year. She knows they would be proud of her efforts to help animal rescue through her “This good. That bad.” products. If she cannot adopt them all she wants to at least increase their chances any way she can. Please come back and visit us soon and if you are in animal rescue, contact us to learn more about how we can help you fundraise.
Filed under: pet loss | Tags: animal rescue, dog purse, dogs, gizmo, LoJack, Mimi, pet adoption, pet grief, pet loss, purse dog, TGTB, this good that bad
Gizmo
- Mimi, early 2010
It would be hard to get a bad shot of such a lovely girl but this one is pretty high on the cute meter. It’s a great shot. On the surface, it would appear Mimi is hamming it up and trying to be one of those silly Paris Hilton- designer- dog- in- a- purse types. That may be the case, or it may also be that a shy, formerly abused dog is careful about who she reveals herself to.
Imagine our delight when we got a new picture of her in our inbox this week, and it looked like this…Mimi is out of the bag!
Mimi, July 2010
Her Mom may get to see her like this every day but for us it is a real treat. She is beautiful, and get a-load of that fancy silk bed! Mimi’s Mom continues to treat her like the “special little angel” that she is, even as she memorialized Gizmo on the recent anniversary of his death this week. We share a sad July anniversary with Mimi’s Mom in that way, as that is when we lost our LoJack. She told us that she gathered some friends to remember with her and toast to him.
We will never forget the dogs and cats that have been in our lives. We never stop loving them or missing them. With a little luck though, we keep our hearts open to make new friends and meet new pets that also have pain to deal with. This keeps the memories alive not just in words and stories but in spirit and actions. Things like reaching out to each other to comfort and commemorate this kind of “anniversary” and spoiling the heck out of an angel like Mimi are not the products of Gizmo’s death; they are the legacy of his life.
Shady’s Mom, Melissa, is the director of marketing for a firm in NJ by day, and a blogger an entrepreneur by night. She still has good days and bad days since losing two of her dogs last year, Nikki and LoJack. She knows they would be proud of her efforts to help animal rescue through her “This good. That bad.” products and this blog. Please come back and visit us soon and if you are in animal rescue, contact us to learn more about how we can help you fundraise.
Filed under: pet loss | Tags: animal rescue, labrador, LoJack, Nikki, pet grief, pet loss, Rainbow Bridge, shady, shadytales, TGTB, this good that bad, Woody
Mom and I hope that right about now most everyone we know is enjoying a safe, happy and long weekend. We are a little down this holiday, not only because of the rampant and random fireworks that keep me hidden under Mom’s desk, but due to the loss of a good friend. Woody, a 13-year-old yellow lab, went to the Rainbow Bridge yesterday. He was a good friend’s most loyal companion and a sweetheart of a dog. Woody is a big part of the reason we have Labradors in this house. His playful antics and easy going nature sold Mom and Dad completely on the breed. He came to the neighborhood just 3 months before our Ms. Nikki and left this world 6 months after. He was a big dog with a big ol’ head and a great big heart. Rest in Peace, Woody. You are loved and will be missed. Thoughts of Woody, LoJack, Nikki and so many others playing at the Rainbow Bridge help us get through, but I must admit we are getting tired of referring to it so often.
For anyone else out there mourning the loss of a beloved pet, please visit our pet loss post category (on the left) for some words of wisdom from our readers on the topic. You can also find conversations, reference and resources at http://www.petloss.com. In addition to resources and open chat they invite everyone to a non-denominational online candle ceremony there every Monday night (10PM EDT) in memory of lost pets. If you are not up for any of that, please feel free to leave a tribute or comment here and tell us about the pets you are missing today. We will light a candle for them all tomorrow.
Light a candle for the beloved pets that had to leave us behind at www.petloss.com
